Letter Series, No. 002

September 7, 2011 § Leave a comment

I’m sorry about the dinner party, how it ended. I think Susan must have felt strange with you know who there and with the chance of all of us getting snowed in for the night, well, it could have been worse. The Tandoori chicken you made really was delicious, though. I’ve personally never been able to cook chicken properly, you know, without drying it out. You really have that finesse with poultry. But of course Jessica had to mention something about her piece being pink on the inside and I think that’s really what set Susan off because then he had to bring up how her habits really haven’t changed since he, you know. Hell, it doesn’t matter, you were there. Yeah, so anyway, you really did cook a fine meal, that’s all I’m trying to say. I just can’t believe that he showed up with Susan, though. I mean it really felt like that time when we all went up to Banf and stayed in that haunted castle and Susan was really freaked out because it’s Susan and so she went to the guys’ room and found that he wasn’t there at all but had passed out at the bar with that cute, Icelandic bartender with the perfect nose. And that just set Susan off because she hates her nose and it was just the icing on the cake. I think I followed Susan down to the restaurant because she was all crying and screaming about bad luck because we were in room 67 and the sum of that was 13 and I didn’t want her to do anything too crazy. But when we arrived at the bar, he wasn’t passed out at all but she saw the bartender and her perfect ski-jump nose and was all, “do you love me?” and before he could even answer her she exhaled the words, “I’m in love at you. I’m in love at you, not with you.” At this point the bar manager comes out and he wobbles over with his fat hands gesturing towards the door and Susan keeps going. “It’s like, I throw my love at you and instead of you catching it or throwing it back, it just hits your chest and falls on the floor between us. Like right there.” Everyone seated in the bar was looking at an invisible spot on the carpet between him and Susan. I mean, I felt bad for her but that girl knows how to read people.

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